So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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