She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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