u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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