Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
What a dumb baby whore.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
