Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
