Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
