Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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