I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
