Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
