He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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