Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
