Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
