lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
