so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
