Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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