it wasn't lemon gatorade
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
