My room smells like vodka and shame
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
