She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
