The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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