Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
