Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The feeling are messing with the penis
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
