my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
