I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How naked do you want me to be?
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