i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
