Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
