I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
