So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
