i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
