im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
