Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
