I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
All I want is dick and wine.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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