My first STD was from a foam party
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
