yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
