i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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