yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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