Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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