i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
