i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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