You're my little dorito
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
