well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
