Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
