I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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