there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
