We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
