His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
