so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
