Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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