That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
