im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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