If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
